Iba ang PINOY!!!!!
PINOY CONTRACTOR ABROAD
Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House
fence.
One from the Philippines , another from Mexico and an
American.
They go with a White House official to examine the
fence.
The American contractor takes out a tape measure and
does some measuring, then works some figures with a
pencil. Well," he says. "I figure the job will run
about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and
$100 profit for me."
The Mexican contractor also does some measuring and
figuring, then says, "I can do $700: $300 for
materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Filipino contractor doesn't measure or figure, but
leans over to the White House official and whispers:
"$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "What? You didn't
even measure like the other guys! How did you come up
with such a high figure? How do you expect me to
consider your service with that bid??
"Easy," the Pinoy explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000
for me and we hire the guy from Mexico ".
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Joke
Q. What's the difference between corruption in the US
and corruption in the Philippines ?
A. In the U.S. they go to jail. In the Philippines ,
they go to the U.S.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Q. What`s the difference among Philippine Presidents
Cory, Gloria and Erap?
A. Cory can`t tell a lie
Gloria can`t tell the truth
Erap can`t tell the difference
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REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness
or suspect, ano na po ang next step ninyo??
Police: DNA na...
REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ???
Police: "Di Namin Alam "
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bobo1: Pare, alam mo ba tawag sa paniki na mababa ang
lipad?
bobo2: hindi eh! ano ba pare?
bobo1: Low-bat!
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TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres
Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino at Apolinario Mabini?
STUDENT: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay
pinanganak ng holiday!
****************************************************************
ERAP: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD.
FPJ: Anong problema?
ERAP: Walang picture, tsaka sound. Sayang. Suspense
thriller pa yata to. Tsk, tsk...
FPJ: Anong title?
ERAP: "The Lens Cleaner"
******************************************************************
PROMDI: 'Lam ko promdi lang ako kaya wag mo kong
lolokohin! Bakit ganito ang kwarto ko? Maliit, wala
pang kama at bintana..... ha?
ROOMBOY: Sir, nasa elevator pa lang po tayo...
*****************************************************************
Jun-Jun: Inay! Ako lang ang nakasagot sa tanong ng
titser namin kanina!
Inay: Very good! Ano ba ang tanong ng titser ninyo?
Jun-Jun: "Sino ang walang assignment?"
Titser: Ano ang hugis ng mundo?
Juan: Kuwadrado po, maam!
Titser: Hindi! Ang mundo ay bilog.
Juan: Pero maam, sabi ng lolo ko, narating na niya
ang APAT na sulok ng mundo. May sulok po ba ang bilog?
***************************************************************
Boss asks sexy secretary to a dinner after overtime:
"Are you free tonight? "
The sexy secretary replies: "Sir, ha... huwag naman
FREE... Bibigyan na lang kita ng discount!"
***************************************************************
Eliseo: Sobra na talaga ang katangahan ng kumare mo.
Ang akala niya, ang LAWSUIT ay uniporme ng pulis!
JoshuA: Sus! Tanga nga! Eh di ba, uniporme ng abogado
yun?
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